When is it too much too soon?

My son recently began health class i.e., sex ed for sixth graders. After the first day I asked him how it went, to which he replied: "Mom, what happens in health class stays in health class," to my astonishment. Then he added, "But I will tell you this, the word 'ejaculation' was used."

For the next few minutes I pleaded with him to share with me what was being discussed. I guess I started to fear the worst, like soon I was going to have to worry where all the Kleenex has gone, so I pressed some more. "Well," I offered, "if you ever have any questions or don't understand something, let me know."

My son was cool and agreed to that request but let me know in no uncertain terms that having to take health now was possibly the most horrible thing he's had to do to date. I had no idea it would be so bad but to my memory, I don't remember taking health until freshman year. I guess they are starting a lot sooner these days for good reason too I suppose.

My mind went back to Miss Scarlett who was my health teacher at Whitney Young; a petite, unfeminine woman with a thick country accent. She was a plain speaking southern lady who coached the girls tennis team mainly when she wasn't in gym class teaching square dancing or swimming, or health. I don't really think she was suited for the latter because she tended to miss things that went over her head when my classmates would surreptitiously get one in on her, like asking if gonads was the same as balls. She always kept a straight face as if she was none the wiser and answered accordingly, while the sideways glances told everyone else, "Watch me say balls".

As I gave it some further thought I remembered a girl from college, Jean. She was considered a weirdo by most, but I thought she was pretty cool. My straight laced Midwestern university was no place for a girl like Jean, but then again, it needed her so desperately too. She was pale and wore bright red lipstick. She usually rocked a black tam on her dishwater blond tresses that made her look very spy-worthy. She seemed to come from a Get Smart episode anyway. Her boyfriend Jim was stuck in the 70's, drove a Camaro and gave "burnt-out rocker" a face. Jean smoked a lot, and sometimes I would find her late at night studying in this place were very few people studied and we would hang. She told me stories and used words like "puce". She was uncommon. Often she was with a guy named Michael who was our school's openly gay crossdressing desk attendant. I can't remember if I'd seen him in his gowns personally or if he'd only shared pictures with me, but he was quite fetching in them and boy was he funny--that I do remember. Actually they both were.

I was reminded of her, and consequently him, because of the health class thing. See one night she was talking about where she came from and how there was only one black girl in her school. She related a story about how they were taking sex ed and the teacher proceeded to go over the body parts. He began his sentence in a deep, stoic tone, "And as we all know the penis has no bones", at which time the only black girl jumped out of her chair with all the conviction she could muster and in her thick black vernacular expelled, "Yes it does, because I FELT it!".

For my kid, there was no humor in sex ed. The way he tells it everyone was embarrassed and mortified. When he finally spilled the proverbial beans, it was more about the terminology and finding out about things they haven't experienced yet, although they might be just around the corner. Things like wet dream, ejaculate and intercourse or "I-C" for short, were overwhelming all at once. I asked him, what could have been better and he said they should have eased into it and made the class take longer.

I wasn't there and knowing what I know, these kids are pretty precocious but it's probably better they know how their bodies work so as to avoid the pitfalls of what not knowing brings. But, it also sounds to me like a more moderate approach would have made sex ed less humiliating and dare I say it--not in that over the top way, but in the way that suggests its not all bad--just a tad more sexy.